Inspiration

The books I've read form the greatest inspiration in my life!

NO, I am not a nerd!!!

Friends, I am talking about novels(not about my stupid Electronics & Communications text books)

My biggest inspiration among all the novels I've read is THE FOUNTAINHEAD BY Ayn Rand. I love Howard Roark, the hero of the novel. What a great character!!

The principle guiding his life is "integrity".Integrity is the ability to stand by an idea-single principle,single thought. Roark came to know what to make out of his life at the age of ten years!! He did not like the shapes(buildings) on our earth and so he wanted to change them. He became the change he wanted to see in this world . He became an architect.He loved his work...his work was his passion.

There is another character in the novel-Peter Keating,the exact opposite character of Roark. He is a parasite who feeds on everyone, a second-hander who follows creators and other second-handers. When he was a kid, he loved painting.But it was his mom who has chosen the field of architecture for him and so he simply switched from painting to architecture.He could not decide for himself.He let others to decide for him... his career... his life.

Now here I am ..who has never ever decided anything for herself...a parasite, who has always depended on others...a second-hander who has got no creativity,no imagination...a little person, who has always felt every other creature in this world superior to herself...a sluggard,who has not spent more than a hundred or so calories in her life.

But I dont want to be a Peter Keating!!!

I was lazy ever since my childhood and I am lazy even now...at the age of nineteen! But I dont want to be lazy for the rest of my life too. I have recollected my childhood memories so that I can realize the work I love the most. But all I could analyze is that -I was shy(even now)...I dont want myself exposed to people coz I was afraid of being rejected by them . I would feel inferior before anyone and everyone. I was afraid to express myself, as people may mark me as a gigantic fool and then they may either avoid me or ignore me or even pity me! And I hated all these options.So,I was shut inside and thus all thoughts were directed towards me...inwards.I became an INTROVERT.I did not want people to take notice of me.It would have been better if I was invisible or it would have been much more better if I dont exist at all in this stupid world!!

So my only sources to kill time were day dreaming and sleeping!!

Day dreaming slowly became such an obsession that I was lost in my thoughts even during exams! I loved being lost in my own world without being disturbed by anyone.Whatever be the work I was doing-reading,listening,talking-anything, I had always been dreaming in another track of my little brain and thus I lost the sense of reality.

Sleeping-it has been noticed by almost everyone around me that I am a sleepohalic .If I cant succeed in my work and thus get depressed,I would just go to bed.I have found my anti-depressant! Nothing could touch me or hurt me,when I am sleeping.No tension could reach me.

Recently, I found another means to forget my loneliness-Reading

I love reading novels or even any other short article that interests me. I love thinking about the characters of the novels made alive by the authors. They seem to be more real than the people around me.They inspire me.They provide some great thoughts to munch upon.Paul Coelho says-"Books tell their incredible stories when you want to hear them.But, when you are talking to people,they say some things that are so strange that you dont know how to continue the conversation." True enough!!

While Chetan Bhagat's novels pushed me to believe in myself & to be self-confident, Paul Coelho's "The Alchemist" pursued me to believe in my dreams. While Sidney Sheldon's novels leave me in a spider-web of plots, Dan Brown's novels take me to new horizons running my imagination wild. Agatha Christie wakes up a James Bond or a Sherlock Holmes or probably a Hercule Poirot in me !! But my journey to this new and beautiful world started with Harry Potter series by J K Rowling, which had forced my lazy brain to read other novels patiently.

Now, its Howard Roark who has given me the greatest inspiration and also the toughest question-What is that I want to make out of my life?

I did my schooling coz I was probably forced by my parents when I was a kid. I opted for math instead of biology coz everyone said that math is better and easy(i agree...its interesting too).
I wanted to be in BITS, when I was in my +2 coz everyone said that its one of the best colleges in India(of course,that dream is already shattered).I opted for ECE in my engg coz everyone said that ECE is the best stream to mould my career

I did everything as directed by others but not directed by my heart.Now I am in my 3rd year of btech.Sooner or later, I will be doing a job.But is that what I want---programming a tiny module of a project if I go for a software job(thankfully there is no IT boom this time) or struggling with the VLSI designs if I go for a hardware job.

Now I am interested to do MBA. And I am trying to bell the CAT next year!!Yes, you heard me right.I want to be in IIMs. I hope this dream doesnt get shattered like my BITS dream!! Actually, you might be wondering that how all in the hell could an introvert choose an MBA career...but thats the big challenge, right?


Believe in your dreams coz if you have a strong belief in them, they will definitely come true!